WHAT I WANT.....

·  I want to be spoilt not because I asked to be but because someone wants to willingly spoil me.

·  I want someone to love me for me, not because of my ‘juggz’ or ass, or my ‘hot’ body but for my weird dress sense and sense of humour, my clownish ways and my ‘unique’ personality.

·   I want someone who will appreciate my talents and gifts, my ability to express myself a lot better on paper.

·   I want someone who won’t think because most if not almost all my friends are guys I’m a flirt. And even if I flirt around per say they wouldn’t be bothered or jealous.

·     I want someone who will trust me totally for I know if I agreed to go out with you it means I trust you.

·  I want someone who will believe in my dreams, criticize my work but still encourage me all the time.

·  I want someone who will be my hero and make me forget all my horrible memories, all the pain, regrets and words...

·     I want someone who will make me believe in man’s love for one another.

·  I want someone who will not get angry at me when I withdraw, have mood swings or get angry for no reason because they know it’s not intentional and I would always apologize for my actions.

·    I want someone who will understand me, truly take their time to understand me because I know I will do the same.

·    I want someone who I’d fight with but never hold a grudge, laugh with, cry with and play with. So much emphasis on the play.

·      I want someone who I’d cuddle with and won’t want to kiss me or touch me.

·    I want someone who won’t think of having sex with me whenever we hang out but would hang out with me because they actually enjoy my company.

·       I want a friend, a brother, a sister, a father, a mother all wrapped in one.

·    I want someone who may be flirty, hang out with girls, joke around but would never be ashamed to say ‘I’m her boyfriend’ or ‘she’s my girl’ to whoever whenever.

·       I want someone who isn’t scared to tell the world I’m theirs.

·       I want someone who is patient because I know I come with a lot of drama.

·  I want someone who is hardworking, creative, prayerful, not necessary a comedian but can make me smile or laugh, someone who is bold, pushing, loving, caring, tolerant and above all God fearing.

·      I want someone who knows what he wants and has a dream.

·      I want someone who will laugh at me when I fall but still help me get up.

·   I want someone who will take stupid pictures with me, make hilarious videos with me, clown around with me, play with me but would get serious when we should be even if I don’t want to.

·     I want someone who isn’t afraid to take on responsibilities with or without me.

·   I want someone who will pray with me, fast with me, praise with me, worship with me, go to church with me, camps and even night vigils.

·      I want someone who isn’t afraid to say and show the world he believes in God.

·      I want someone who loves reading his Bible and isn’t afraid to do so in public.

·  I want someone who can have meaningful discussions about the Bible and sincerely enjoy it.

·       I want someone who needs God and isn’t afraid to show that he does.

·       I don’t necessary want a hot or sexy guy I just want ‘that’ guy.

·    I want someone who will always be ready to give me hugs that could last more than a minute, tight hugs that would make me feel safe.

·       I want someone that will stroke my hair and kiss my forehead. I really love that.

·       I want someone who will not take advantage of my emotions.

·      I want someone who I can occasionally have really deep discussions with and at the same time joke and play with them.

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THE LOVER BOY

He was late and he knew it. This was the first time and he couldn’t believe he had allowed himself to over sleep. With his ears plugged in he walked briskly to class.


 He smiled to himself ‘he would see her today’ he thought and today he would finally tell her how he feels. He really liked her. The way she smiles, talks, walks and even the way she writes.


Weird?... Yeah he knew.


He had tried so many times to get her attention, just to have a reason to say something to her, to get her to talk to him not his friends. He said hi to her friends at various occasions on purpose just to get a chance to say hi to her but she never looked at him. It was like she never noticed he was there. She always had her ears plugged, paying no attention what-so-ever to the world.


He always asked after her but never directly. His friends knew how much he liked her but he made them swear they would never tell anyone who-so-ever. He bought things for her but never delivered them, wrote letters, poems and stories but never gave them to her. He drew pictures and took pictures of her, keeping all hidden from everyone but himself. A times he would practise how he would talk to her, all the things he would say to her, the way he smile when he sees her and laugh if she said anything funny. He thought of how he would treat her if they were ever together, how he would make her feel. He made a promise he would always make her happy if he ever got the chance and always keep that cute smile of hers on her face forever. He knew she didn’t have a boyfriend but she had lots of ‘boy’ friends which sometimes scared him. They all looked like stiff competition if for any reason they were interested in her and if she was interested in anyone of them.


He was late......his mind reminded him bringing him back to reality. He walked faster now.


What would she think of him? Would she accept him? Would she laugh at him? Would she embarrass him?


‘No she wasn’t like that’ he told himself. She was too sweet to do something like that and she would never laugh at him, at least not in public. This wasn’t the first time these questions had popped up. For awhile now they had been popping up more frequently than usual.


He was almost there....


He went through everything he had planned to say to her in his head, editing and re-editing over and over. He entered the class scanning even without thinking for her. Where was she? He looked around for her cute face and amazing smile and then he saw her sitting alone at the back of the class. He stopped himself from smiling stupidly. ‘Was she ok?’ he asked himself. He was about to find out as he slowly walked in her direction....                                                                  
                                       



                                                                                                                ........to be continued

____________________________________________________________

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Once There Was A Man Who Was VERY Attracted To A Great Woman...

At first, she was just another attractive woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her.

But there was one problem...

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

 Why? Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once, she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue.

What's WRONG With This Picture?

You see, she just wasn't acting like a woman that was falling in love. She was acting like (cue the tragic music... ) just a friend.

And then the insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that, if she only knew how he FELT, she would feel the same way. So, he made a bold move:

He told her how he felt and confessed that he was in love and that he would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said, "Thank you... I really mean that... but I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important to me...."

All Of This Only Confused The Man More

He didn't know how to take it... Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something? Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long term relationship? Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough? Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore... he had to be with her. He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step...

He bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a long, long letter... again confessing his feelings.

And then, the unthinkable happened...

She Didn't Reply At All!

He called her three times a day for almost a week before reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy and said, "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go"... and hung up... but he never got a call back.

Over the following months the man tried desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened.

THE END

Now, wasn't that a sweet story? Heartwarming, huh? I know, I should keep my day job,read my books,blog a bit,play ball :D and not take up writing romance novels... Now, let's talk about this story.

This Story Is An Actual, Real-Life LEGEND

I'm not talking about a myth or a work of fiction here... I'm talking about a story that rings true for a great majority of men. A story that is timeless and incredibly familiar. A story that resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate and sound so familiar for most men?

It's because we've all been there in one way or another... at one time or another... and many of us have been there often in our lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs... as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us of...

Stories and situations like this one really fascinate me. They fascinate me because I see them as an opportunity to understand and solve the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation, I think there is a solution. And it lies in understanding one thing:

The Huge Secret That Women Know (But 99% Of Men Don't)

This secret comes down to the reality that if a woman isn't attracted to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her backfire.

In other words, they not only don't work, they actually make things WORSE. The very things that a man does to try to make a woman like him, make her NOT like him. They make her run for the hills.

All those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the man feeling them to do things that make her go away. It sucks, and I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens, I'll help you to avoid this painful situation in the future...

By the way, if you read that story and said to yourself, "That's happened to me," then you might want to go and soak garri and READ ON

In the meantime, let me tell you about a little something that I love opening guys' eyes about...

Introducing The "INSTANT EWWW"...

Look, I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others... So often we think that just because we want to communicate a message, that others are going to naturally understand what we're trying to say.

For example, have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow amplifies the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor?

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"? Yeah, I have too. And here's the deal:

If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it is going to backfire. GUARANTEED.

It's going to trigger a feeling that I like to call the "Instant Ewww"... and it's just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of attraction. Once a woman feels it, you're done. It's over. It's like hammering a railroad spike into the coffin.

Once a woman feels the "Instant Ewww," she will start behaving differently. In short, she'll disappear.

Still have doubts? Wondering where I learned the concept of the "Instant Ewww" from?

I Learned Everything I Know About This Concept From WOMEN

I have actually heard several women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was confessing his love... Of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return.

So, what causes the "Instant Ewww?" And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels?

Because if you think about it from her perspective, you'll realize that the moment you do something to "confess," you have created a turning point in the relationship. Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, women always know how men feel. She already knew you wanted her. She knew it from the beginning. But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a negative tension that is very uncomfortable.

You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.

In summary...

• You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her.
• Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you hurts you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll never like you.
• Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what makes sense to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

Now, on to the GOOD news...

Two Life-Changing Solutions To These Painfully Common Problems

Solution #1: If you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back... Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter... Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a note that says, "From your secret admirer." Don't call her three times a day.

And above all... DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her!

If you want to know how she feels about you, kiss her (The Kiss Test). As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than her. Use signals from her to find out how she feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way or if you are "her type," will actually destroy the chances that she'll like you. Really.

Solution #2: Don't get into this particular situation in the first place. Avoid it entirely.

One does that by creating attraction from the beginning. One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women have the physical and emotional response of attraction triggered. One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

The Very Best Way To Learn These Skills

You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young. And you don't have to be lucky.

What you DO have to do is LEARN. It's a skill, and I honestly believe that any man can learn it if he wants to. But you're not likely to figure it out by "trial and error" because many of the keys to making women feel attraction aren't obvious at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense... and they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation if you didn't know the secrets.

Toby Ifabiyi

JAN 20 2013

‘I don’t like the way she talks to you’, she turned back to look at who he was talking about. She smiled at the one person who had become a friend, someone she could talk to, complain to and probably cry to and turned back to him ‘what do you mean?’ she asked and he gave her that you-know-what-I-mean look.


‘In fact’ he continued ‘I don’t like the way she treats you’ and she froze knowing what he meant but smiled anyway. Their discussion went on but those two statements rung in her head like a broken alarm clock.


‘Could it be?’ she thought to herself as she walked up to her room. Could it be that obvious? Had it gotten this bad? So bent on fitting in, she had allowed herself to be run over and manipulated. Forgetting those principles she made, she had allowed herself to become ‘them’. The low self esteemed girls who allow themselves to become puppets so they can be accepted or as we said in high school ’fill among’. Allowing herself to become who she was not, everything she hated, talking their talk, walking their walk, looking just like everyone else. Had she turned into a ‘girl?’


Girl?....


 Yes she was one but not the type society sees. Had she become the pretender she hated, the gossip she could never stand, the boastful slut she despised, the talkative she had often laughed at. Had she forgotten her roots and turned into just another random ‘girl’ trying desperately hard to be noticed and accepted, looking for the click to fit into. What had she become?


She entered her room and lay on her bed. ‘Today had been a good day’ she thought to herself but those words rung in her head.


She sighed....


He was right. She had changed. For the past few months she had been trying desperately to fit in. She had changed her wardrobe, her routines, what she eats and what she spends her money on. She had begun hanging out with weird people, overlooking what she would have disapproved on a normal day, always saying ‘it’s ok’. She had begun to just float, doing everything that ‘everyone’ else did. She had begun seeking attention and changed her vocabulary just to be heard. She was trying too hard to be what she was not, forgetting who she really was. She had become her enemy. She closed her eyes.


Those words......

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FRIDAY JAN. 18 2013

My lecturer gave me an assignment once to write about myself. I laughed inside me. What sort of assignment is that? I decided to forget the note I was writing and start.....

It’s been thirty minutes and I can’t still figure out who the hell I am. Remember those jokes you read on the internet about when you’re asked to describe yourself and you begin to wonder who the hell you are. Yes this is one of those epic moments. I was stuck and like every other thing I had found myself doing, I was stuck again. My mind began to remember everything I had started and was still yet to complete. They all had potential, they were all going to bring about change, a good change but..... I always wondered what kind of person I was. I was sure there was a psychological name for me. ‘I must look that up and write about it’ I thought to myself.......

.....and yet one more idea wasted because deep down I knew I wouldn’t remember to do that. Then the sigh which I had gotten so used to making when I was about giving up on something slipped out..... ‘Patience’ I told myself

‘Who the hell am I?’ I asked myself yet again but this time trying to give it much thought. I thought of my likes and dislikes, my hobbies... and I laughed. My hobbies...yes what do I enjoy doing? First thing that came to mind was writing and I laughed again. I changed my mind and decided to ask a couple of people. They all gave me that are-you-ok? Look. I got the message by the third person. I turned back to the blank piece of paper and wrote down- I AM and paused again. Funny? - I don’t think I am, caring? - I try to be, Bold? –only if I make myself, Shy? –like almost all the time but then it could probably be an excuse I give to avoid doing things. You know how you tell a lie and stick to it and after sometime you begin to believe that lie is the truth. Then you’re not even sure if it’s the truth or not. You believe your lie because you want it to become the truth and if something ever happens you wish that lie or truth was a lie. I think I’m confusing myself. I need to work on my words. Then the sigh again. I stopped thinking for a bit and turned back to my lecturer. I heard but I wasn’t listening and then I remembered a class I had once and the statement I picked although I’m still not sure if I made it up but it went something like this ‘Hearing just proves that your ears work and you can use them while listening means it registered and stuck. If you listen whatever you are hearing registers in your brain and your brain can assimilate all that you’re hearing and with much thought can be reproduced’ I remembered concluding that hearing was important but listening made the difference.

I turned back to the sheet in front of me I AM Crazy? – maybe, Weird? – definitely, Impulsive? –depends on the situation, Forward? –to an extent, Open? – not really, Trustworthy? – I should think so considering I don’t really trust anyone. I paused again. This time remembering all the reasons why I don’t trust people and smiled, a really sad sarcastic smile. I couldn’t really think of who I was. I am so many things, some I could think of and some I was till yet to figure out. I had a long time ahead of me to really figure out who I was. I finally wrote completing my sentence.

 I AM ME.....

......Then everything I needed to write came flooding onto the paper.



____________________________________________________________

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THE STALKER PART ONE

She was bored and it was very obvious. Her mind wondered got tired and sat down to rest while her eyes took over. Not thinking about anything in particular her eyes moved from row to row, face to face. What was she looking for? Or rather who?


She smiled to herself. She knew who she was looking for but sadly she still hadn’t found him. It had been awhile she saw him. Did he know she stalked him? Was it that obvious? In a way she had made it a little obvious. She smiled again. It would be good if he had noticed, that meant he would know who she was. But that also meant he would avoid her if she creeped him out. Did she creep him out? Does she make him uncomfortable? Had she done something disturbing? Had she stared at him too long? Or had she smiled at him too long? She wasn’t even sure if she liked him liked him, she just loved seeing his face. Watching him smile, think, laugh, frown, bored, happy, excited, mischievous... His different facial expressions each one very distinct from the other. His face was like a movie, a mixture of romance, comedy and mystery that keeps you guessing, smiling and wobbly. And then his eyes....


She sighed....that love hungry, love starved sigh. Her heart beating faster now, she remembered the day he said hi to her friend and the smile he had on, with those cute dimples on each cheek begging her to come peck them. She didn’t get to talk to him but she was satisfied being just near him.


Or could it be that he was sick?


‘Oh no!!’ she thought to herself. He couldn’t be, he was a strong boy, and he wouldn’t allow himself to be sick. But then again he looked so fragile so he could be. ‘That would be so sad’ she whispered to herself.


Her mind was exhausted....


She put her head down to rest a little bit. Listening to all the chattering around her and then she heard his name being called out and her heart skipped. This wouldn’t be the first time, she had been watching him for three years now. Three long years and yet her heart still froze when she heard his name. She knew all his hangout spots, all his friends both male and female. She knew when he ate, what he likes to eat, drink. She knew his favourite thing to do, games, movies and songs he loved listening to and also his favourite blogs and websites. She had spent three years getting to know everything about him but had never said ‘hi’. Once he looked in her direction but that was it. All she had ever wanted was to say hi to him even if she didn’t have a conversation with him, she just wanted that smile followed by the ‘hi’. She raised her head and sighted a group at a distance laughing, she noticed a boy and girl sitting really close to each other talking to the rest of the people in front of them. She smiled. ‘Would she ever have that with him?’ she asked herself ‘the opportunity to sit by his side like it was normal’. She took in a deep breath taking in his perfume and her heart skipped again. Someone smelled like him. She put her head down so no one would see her smiling sheepishly to herself.


Her eyes were getting heavy now. ‘Wouldn’t this class end already?’ she thought. Slowly she felt herself dozing, drifting to her happy place where everything seemed true and all her fantasies were realities. But she was awoken by a soft tap on her shoulder, she wondered who would want to talk to her and deprive her of her time to herself. She really just wanted to rest and day dream and maybe go over what she had read for her test later on in her head.


She sighed deeply and reluctantly she raised her head.....
                                                                                                       
                                                                                                           
                                                                                                        ....to be continued.

____________________________________________________________

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